Today’s dress is Alannah Hill, an Australian designer. I got this at her sample sale in Sydney, many years ago. It’s a good conservative dress for when that is needed. Australia is on my mind because I just found out my parents are going there pretty soon! Since my grandfather is still alive, at 96.5, I’m glad my mother will get to see him. I’m really excited for my parents. They deserve this. And my mother will get to be there on the 1 year anniversary of her mother’s passing. I was just listening to some songs from Marlo Thomas’ Free to Be You and Me album. There’s one called “when we grow up.” I get very emotional when I hear her songs because my inner child feels sad. Sad that I didn’t realize my potential. Sad that I’ve wasted many years being unhappy. Sad about being sad. It’s a lot. But as I sit by the pool in a beautiful place in Florida where I can stay for a long time (leaving in a week), I feel restless. I always think I could be doing more, doing better. It’s never enough. Do you feel this way, reader? Or have you?
today has already been pretty special. I woke up at an OK hour (9am), went on a zoom meeting, got outside and texted my friend Tod about my upcoming trip to LA. Within an hour, he had booked us into a mindfulness workshop at Esalen, where I have always wanted to go. That he is sharing this place with me is a huge honor and gift. Tod has been working on himself too and I can’t wait to do this together. It will be challenging though, and I have to get myself ready for it. I realized I don’t do so well around others for too many hours. So I’m praying that will all be OK, because Tod and I have been friends for 21 years now, and I don’t want to do anything to poke at our friendship. Putting that out there to the universe. I love Tod and he’s always been there for me. He gave me a beautiful and safe place to stay for 3 weeks in Sam Francisco when I had no clue what I was doing with my life. He helped me so much. but back to today’s topic. when I was younger I wanted to be a hair dresser. I would cut and dye my Barbie dolls’ hair with food coloring. I was always creative. Always rebellious. But what did I really want to be? but now I think I know. I want to be an influencer. Do I want to be flown around the world to promote beautiful places? Yes, yes I do. But I want to be an influencer for things I believe in. Things that matter. Mental health. Healing. Wellness. I’d love to create a platform where I can inspire people and help them feel less alone. Grateful for the support People in my life.
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