Today’s dress is vintage that I found in the blue mountains, a beautiful place 2 hours west of Sydney. There was a big second hand, antiques and vintage store called Mr. Pickwicks. I remember finding this dress and loving it. Glad to have it all these years later. today‘s story is about doormen. I grew up with a few doormen at my parents‘ building on the upper west side. What does it mean to have a doorman? Is it a mark of privilege? Certainly. They know the ins and outs of the building. They can be very helpful. We had one who frequently slept at the desk, snoring loudly. we had a doorman who seemed to hate us until one day I smiled at him and asked him how he was. Then he loved us. We had a doorman who was there all 22 years my parents had the apartment, and to my knowledge, he’s still there. I visited him a few times during the height of the pandemic. then there was nakia. i was 15 and he was 24. I think he was Dominican. We would chat for long periods of time. I’d be on my way out to meet friends, but I’d get sidetracked talking to him. I believed myself to be very mature then, although I was a late bloomer and clueless about boys. He was experienced. He also had nowhere to go. he told me to watch the movie “kids.” I was shocked and disturbed. But intrigued. the summer approached and I was going to my last summer at interlocken camp. I flirtatiously gave him my camp address. I’m not sure what I expected, but what I received was a 5 page handwritten letter. He’d clearly put a lot of thought into it. It seemed to me to be a love letter, but it was a fairy tale. I was princess Bri and he was my servant, Aikan (nakia spelled backwards). I wish I still had the letter and the one that followed. I would have never gotten rid of it on purpose, but somehow it’s gone. I’d love to read it with adult eyes. At the time, I found it intimidating. I could have put my ego aside and seen it as a creative expression. He was so talented. When I got home from camp, I told him that I felt overwhelmed by the letter. “It was just a fantasy!” He said. And it was. One day, nakia was gone and I never saw him again. I continued to grow up in that building, even returning as an adult for a few months. I’ve never had a doorman since, although I’ve dated men who have. I prefer no doorman. I prefer to keep my business private. My packages arrive with no issues (except one, which was cursed). Having a doorman is so intimate. But for a while, it was sort of nice. Thank you to the doormen who make our lives easier and greet us with a