Today’s dress is a bluish purple racerback with pockets from J.Crew. I’ve always enjoyed wearing this dress. I can’t layer it, wear it with boots, whatever. im glad today is rainy. It feels like a good day to sit and write. last night I went to a friend’s 40th birthday. She’s a pretty new friend, and she’s one of those people who seems to know everyone. im sort of like that too, but she must have had 100 people there. It was impressive. It was on a rooftop of a hotel in midtown. The place is pretty new and it was very nice. I was out til pretty late and then took the bus home because I don’t like paying for Uber’s if I don’t have to. I also stopped at the deli to get a chopped cheese, a NY specialty of hamburger meat on a roll. It was good but I got some hamburger on my dress. I hope it comes out. Yes, I know all the tricks. I had two Airbnb guests stay for just the night. I like bookings like those. They‘re easy for me.
last night I was telling people that I’m writing a book. People seemed interested in my stories and said they look forward to my book. One guy I know told me that his brother, a street artist, jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge a few months ago. It was written about in The NY Times. His name was Hash Halpern. I didn’t know him, but it made me sad. there is a lot of pain in the world. I hope we are moving into a period of regrowth and healing. part of having BPD is dissociating. It’s very upsetting because I forget chunks of conversations and have to bring myself back. it happens while watching tv a lot too. I have to pause and rewind because I miss things. It’s the most frustrating part of this disorder because it feels like I’m just not paying attention. I think it’s also why I have anxiety about writing my stories down. What if I cant remember what happened? I’ll have to do the best I can.
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