Quiet

Today’s dress is vintage and white. Sometimes it’s nice to wear white. All I can hear right now is the crashing of the waves outside. I’m a little sad still because yesterday was a hard day. Diana and I got into a fight. She has never stayed with me before. She’s always at her mom‘s place. Maybe the incident with the dog upset her too much. She also needs to sleep about 12 hours a night. It just wasn’t good for me. I tried to wake her up around 10:45 and she got mad. I had to drive all the way to tampa to return my rental car. the engine was very noisy and it jolted forward a lot. I know believe the cruise control was on. I had no idea. I’ve never used cruise control and it scared me to feel like I didn’t have control over the car. I wish I’d known and been able to turn it off. As a new driver, the learning curve is steep. You can’t know what you don’t know. So I’m learning every car‘s quirks and where things are. it’s humbling. But I ended up going to tampa on my own to get a new rental car. I’ve been using an app called Turo because it was cheaper. But the car i booked next wasn’t there. There was some miscommunication and I had to call customer service so they could find me another car. I finally was able to get back on the road and meet my friend in St Pete’s for a little while. It was a long and upsetting day. I don’t know when I’ll see Diana again. Last night we texted a bit, but I have some thinking to do. I don’t want to keep pushing people away. I also need to have realistic expectations. I hadn’t seen Diana in a year. I forgot how much sleep she needs. So I’m sitting with some sadness today and hoping i can enjoy the rest of my time here. It really is a beautiful place. It would be great if I didn’t get hit with so many life lessons at once. But I don’t think I have any control over it.