Progress

Today was quite an experience. I woke up with bad anxiety, yet again. As I felt the familiar demons greet me, I got very worried. I just didn’t have the energy to fight them. I’m still behind on sleep. I did a vipassana meditation with a live meeting on zoom. I took a shower. And then I proceeded to feel worse and worse. i used some of my tools. I reached out to people, breathed, went outside and sat in the sun. nothing was helping. I was in the storm. What do you do in the storm? Wait it out or row faster? I kept looking for help. A sign. A lifeboat. And slowly they came. A friend talked to me for a long time about his own anxiety. My maintenance guy (and friend) talk to me. My neighbor came over and we’ve been recording some podcast type stuff and playing music. i talked to my parents. I did some step work. I ate some food. And I’ll tell you, I feel better. i feel loved. the mornings are always the hardest and I know that. I can’t say I’m not worried about tomorrow. But I’ll remind myself that I can get through anything. Thanks for being on this journey with me. new podcast with my dad coming soon too.