Today’s second hand dress is from Nanette Lepore. I had it a long time ago but it ripped so I got rid of it. But a new one found its way into my life. I will treasure it, although it’s a little tight in the waist. Last night I stayed at the most beautiful house I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot. It was literally out of Architectural Digest. I was supposed to fly from Monterey to Los Angeles yesterday, since I already had a flight booked home. But when Tod and I woke up in Big Sur, there was a huge storm. The outdoor furniture in our room at the resort had been knocked over. We ran to get breakfast and then got ready to go. It seemed to make more sense to drive to San Francisco with Tod and get my flight back to NYC from here. Having lived here for 5 years, I felt some anxiety arise. I was here just over a year ago for thanksgiving with my then boyfriend’s family. He broke up with me 2 days later. I never found my footing in SF. I had many good times, but it felt like a real struggle to stay afloat here. Career stuff happened, fashion school was just a thing to do, and I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a sociopathic narcissist. I saw many Therapists here. I lost many jobs here. There‘s pain here for me. But tod has a friend who he was planning on staying with, and she generously let me stay too. Yes, the home is jaw droppingly beautiful. It has views of the city and the Presidio park. It’s 4 floors (Maybe more?). The art work is world class. The wallpaper is hand painted and varies by room. The kitchen sink is gold. There are 2 staircases. There’s a picture of timothee chalamet in one of the living rooms. There’s a Steinway piano and another piano. The private chefs made a delicious veggie bowl (I didn’t even think the cilantro was so offensive). they made homemade fish and chips for the little boy. there’s a sauna. There’s a band room. There’s a Tesla charger (but Tod said it’s slow). I got lost at one point trying to find the garage. There’s a Carrie Bradshaw style closet/room. Everything is clean and in its place. Our host was lovely to talk to. As she lay on the couch with her legs in some sort of lymphatic drainage contraption, she talked about her husband leaving her and getting engaged to a C list actress in Hollywood. She and her ex share 4 kids together. I really enjoyed talking to her. I loved hearing about her travels and her other homes, and investments. She was super smart. I hope our paths cross again some day. Her house is a dream. But she has her struggles too. What kind of struggles would I have if I lived in a house like this? Would I be happier? What does it take to be happy? What does true happiness feel like? Is it how much stuff I have? The relationship I’m in? Helping others? What I do for money? The place I live in? The friends I have? I had such a special week with Tod. I really felt loved and cared for. and for sure happy, at times. But it’s a practice for me, and i’m not there yet. My uncle Tsvi told me to give some charity in honor of my grandparents, who are now both gone. I don’t know him so well. He lives in Israel. But he also wrote me something no other aunt or uncle of mine ever has. “Always remember you r truly a diamond a gem of immense beauty and value
All good things are possible and likely pls Gd
Especially for you to find and in a propitious time your true kindred soul mate, your bashert
You just have to believe
I know u can...really”
thank you uncle Tsvi