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Writer's pictureBriyah Paley

Pink Pigs

Today‘s skirt is vintage and has a cute pattern of pink pigs. They look happy to me. I found the skirt in Harvard square at a vintage store I used to walk to from my university, Northeastern. I’d walk along the Charles and listen to my favorite band, Of Montreal. especially their song, disconnect the dots. Most of the lyrics are:

Come disconnect the dots with me, poppet! Come disconnect the dots... Come disconnect the dots with me, poppet! Come disconnect the dots...

It's so beautiful Our lunacy It's so beautiful

lately, I’ve felt depressed. I have good moments, but it’s been hard. I attribute this to all the work I’ve been doing on myself. I keep hoping I’ll just suddenly feel better, but I think it will take a while. Even a long while. And I know it’ll be worth it, because I’m trying to change patterns I’ve had for a long time that don’t serve me. When I used to feel depressed, I’d go and book a trip (ok I do still do that). Or find a guy to meet up with (not doing that). I still pick at my skin, but I spend hours (including today) at meetings, trying to stop. I still buy clothes but not as much as before. I still feel rejected by friends when they don’t respond to my texts, but I remember that I have lots of friends who do and to focus on those friends. I can listen to self help books on tape that help me understand life better. I can make healthier meals for myself. I can move my body. I have all these tools, but still it’s easier to want to stay in bed all day. Today I’m going with a friend to a temple in queens that serves dosas in the basement canteen. It was my idea to go and I think it’ll be fun. She just lost her dad after a long illness. She was his caretaker for a while too. I’m glad to be able to be a supportive friend. I’m planning to write a story in the next few days that’s been on my mind. I’ll probably share it here. Feedback is always welcome. My writing class is tomorrow night. Thanks for reading.

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