Periods

Today’s dress was given to me by my mother. It’s from Nanette Lepore, a designer we both love. It’s red, and so are periods.

What’s up with periods? Every single month for years on end. When I was 12, I was ready for mine, but it hadn’t yet come. I read Judy Blume’s book, “Are you there God, it’s me Margaret.” I wanted to get my period so badly! My mother told me she was 14, and thought she was the last woman on earth to get it. and her mother didn’t give her any information beforehand on what to expect, or do. One day, at 13 years old, there it was. I was so relieved. I was a functional woman! Technology and period products have improved since then. I also became anti-birth control like the pill and IUDs. I hate how women are brainwashed to go on birth control at a young age. I think it’s physically and psychologically damaging. It made me feel completely insane. I have a very regular period and I know when to be careful if I’m in a relationship. There are apps that track periods. I don’t hate my period. I think it’s a powerful gift. When I was in Costa Rica for the ayahuasca retreat, there was a Yahei ceremony where women couldn’t participate if on their moon, as they call it. The energy is too intense and a distraction to the shamans and other men, who can’t relate to it. Women in that tradition can only be shamans once they’ve entered menopause. Last week, I put blood on my face and used it as a face mask. It was such a vibrant red! At first, I couldn’t believe I was doing it, but it came from my own body and I felt it was healing my skin. In the Yahei tradition, it’s said that we bleed for 5 days. The first day, we bleed for ourselves and reflect on the last 4 weeks. The second day, we bleed for our bothers who cannot bleed. The third day we bleed for our passion--what we really love to do when we connect with our hearts and wombs. The fourth day it’s about what seeds we want to plant, and change we want to bring. The fifth day, we bleed for Pachamama, Mother Earth. And this is the day we can give our blood back. It is said that if every woman in the world would give her blood back to Pachamama, it would end all bloodshed and war in the world which was created by men who cannot bleed. It’s a sacred time. It’s a ceremony we can create for ourselves. I put mine outside my building, next to the bushes. We mix it with water because it’s a very strong energy, so it’s not good to give it back purely. We can say a prayer, for ourselves, our family, community, the world, and Pachamama. It’s said that when a young girl gets her moon, she steps into the magic. And when she is done menstruating, she IS the magic. When I was young, I was embarrassed about periods. It’s a weird concept to grasp and such a shift for a young woman. I remember my dad picking me up from a bar mitzvah and telling me he knew I had gotten my period and wanted to give me a blessing. I was mortified! I went upstairs and got angry at my mother for telling him. I wish I’d had a different reaction at the time, but that’s how life goes. If I ever have a daughter, or with my niece, I hope I can empower her around her moon time. My bat mitzvah was on Rosh Chodesh, or the New Moon. I was also born on Rosh Chodesh Av. I have my bat mitzvah invitation framed on my wall, with a beautiful illustration by family friend Emily Boone. It’s a reminder to me that we all good through cycles in life. Right now feels difficult, but it’s only temporary.