Mermaid Parade

It’s never a dull moment around here. Saturday was the 40th mermaid parade in Coney Island. I’d never been before because coney island is really far away. The parade didn’t happen the last two years due to the pandemic. I was invited by a friend and was excited to experience it. when I got there, I had on mermaid leggings and a bikini top. I didn’t like the music on our float so I wandered over to another one called the Kostume Kult. They had a costume for me! It was an octopus. I put that on and went back and forth between the two groups. I had been stressed earlier in the day due to a plumbing emergency in my bathroom. It’s still not sorted out and I didn’t appreciate how my condo’s office handled it. I’m still angry about it. But moving on for now. the parade was fun. Lots of dancing and big smiles. I was happy to be there. Afterwards, some of us walked over to get food at a Russian place called Tatiana’s. I went to use the bathroom and was stunned to see the municipal bathroom covered in spiritual quotes. suddenly I had tears coming down my face. I breathed in and I breathed out, calming and centering myself. The restroom attendant approached me. She introduced herself as Hazel. She had decorated the bathroom. she told me it was going to be ok and to just trust in god. I knew she was right. It was hard to leave that bathroom. the rest of the day was alright, although it took a while to get home on the subway. today I’m going to meet a family friend who is like an aunt to me. She lives in westchester. I’ll drive there. I’m still feeling a little unsteady after a lot of stimulation over the weekend. I do so much and it starts to get too intense. I can’t seem to stop. It feels like I’m running out of time. I enjoy most of the events I go to and people I meet, but I can feel my energy is going down. i released a new podcast episode yesterday, on Father’s Day. I haven’t even listened to it all. It was a hard one to record because I feel so vulnerable with my emotions. It’s so confusing. I met a guy the other day and last night we went for a walk. In all seriousness, he told me some things that really disturbed me. He said he’s being targeted by the CIA, drugged and followed. He said we had met before when I know we haven’t. This is a smart guy. He went to Stuyvesant. So…why? Too many drugs? I don‘t get it. Can’t something work out for me already? Where is he? Where is my person?