Living in the Gray

I was on a zoom meeting earlier and I heard someone mention living in the gray. Often my BPD brain turns things into all good or all bad. In reality, there’s a lot to learn by li somewhere in between. I’m sitting outside my building watching the squirrels run back and forth. I have a to do list, including writing and taking new pictures for this blog, but part of me feels frozen. How do I push myself to get things done when no one is making me? Does someone need to make me do things? no. That’s part of the problem. one of my goals today is to find and buy pistachio milk. I’m obsessed with it. Yesterday I went to Whole Foods in Harlem and they didn’t have it, which I thought was weird. But the guy behind the prepared food counter gave me some good life advice. He told me to wait to get married. I told him I’ve already waited a long time. But sure, what’s a while longer. today‘s dress (I almost forgot about it) is Rebecca Taylor. she has always been a favorite designer of mine. I don‘t know if she still has a store in SoHo, it’s been so long since I was even there. I used to go every week when I was in my choir. The choir is back, but in a different place and with Masks. When will this all end…? I never got used to wearing masks. It would be easier if I had. The most I’ve had to wear one is on a plane. I made so many, but I don’t like them. Does anyone? I think some people do. I hate going to restaurants and only the waiters wear them. It seems unfair. What a toxic mess this has become. But I don’t want to go on a rant about that for you kind people reading my blog. for today I’ll try to get my pistachio milk and take photos for the blog. And put some listings up on Etsy or something. And try to remind myself that things will get better soon.