Hi, readers. I’ve been thinking about what to post on here. I feel like a lot has happened, but I’m not sure I want to share it. I’ve made some poor choices and I’ve suffered because of them. But I’ve also had good days and pushed myself harder than I thought possible. There’s definitely a transformation going on. I just have to allow it to happen and stop trying to control it. It’s 90 degrees here and I went out for a walk on ditmars. I’m still confirming my Airbnb tour and hope to launch it soon. I’m not nervous about leading it. It’s just the time commitment. Much of my anxiety is around time. I always feel torn like I should be somewhere other than where I am. I deleted social media for now because I don’t want more options or to see more things I’m missing out on. It takes away from my focus.
I’ve been doing more exercise. I even enjoyed running the other day. Hopefully the local pool will open soon. I’ve had lots of airbnb guests. I went away to a Womens shabbat. It was nice but the house was really messy and the women were orthodox, which I am not. We did family constellation therapy and it was intense. People were shaking and crying and trying to figure out what had happened. I took on the role of a sexual abuser and didn’t feel much at all. today I’m at home, getting some writing done, as well as zoom meetings. I’ll go to yin yoga later. My apartment looks cluttered to me, and I’d like to get rid of more stuff. I met a nice woman in cold spring the other day and she said she’d come by and help me. She sells things on consignment. I hope it works out. It’s a new moon in Gemini and I’d like to let go of fear, comparison, skin picking, and the story in my head that tells me I’m not doing ok. Actually, I’m doing fine. I’m bringing in love, abundance, peace, happiness, good restful sleep, joy, serenity and lots of trips to the ocean.