Today‘s dress is second hand Ralph Lauren! It reminds me of spring. I can’t wait for spring. Enough of this cold gloomy winter. My therapist told me I should model. In a way, I already model, on my blog each day. I pose in a different one of my dresses.
I’m 38 years old, but no one ever thinks that. They think I’m in my mid 20s. I’m not sure why. I guess I have a young face. And a youthful personality. I like telling people my age, mainly to shock them. I sometimes attend events where people are younger than me. Many people my age have a family and kids, but my situation is different. I used to judge people in my situation. How sad for them, I thought. I really hope that won’t be me. But it is, and here I am. Sometimes I do feel sad, of course. How could I not? This is not what I imagined when I was little. But maybe it’s better. I don’t have to worry about little kids and their schedules. I can take off to Colombia next week. I only have to care for myself. Some years ago, my mother started going gray. She decided to dye her dark, curly hair. I had been dying my hair for years at that point. But not because of grays. I did it because it was fun. I felt like I took on a new persona when I was a redhead. And then a blonde. I felt my natural hair color was boring. Jewish brown, I called it. When I was 7 years old, my brother Gabe was born. I wanted to do something to get more attention, so I put my hair in foam rollers every single night for a year. I wanted those ringlet curls. I wore a hairnet too. It was a real vibe for a 7 year old. But I had to do it, night after night. It was also OCD, which I’d later be diagnosed with. At some point, my hair became wavy-curly on its own. Then I wanted it to be straight. I blow dried it and put in hot rollers to give it some bounce. My friend’s mother showed me how. I loved all the girly stuff. I still do. When I was little, I loved makeup and thought it was so grown up. But as I get older, I don’t care much for makeup. When I worked as an extra on TV shows and movies, I would sit in hair and makeup for hours. It was fun to get dolled up and not have to put in the effort myself. I also loved talking to the stylists. They had the best stories and they were great listeners. I will open up to anyone about my personal life, but this was an ideal time to do it. We had nowhere else to be. Sometimes I miss being a blonde, but I don’t want the maintenance. I have a few grays, but they don’t bother me. I want to embrace my body, hair and face the way God made me. many women in my family have had their noses fixed. Not me. I often get compared to the actress Elisabeth Moss. She also has a unique look with widespread eyes. I’m only 5”2 and have an old fashioned kind of figure. Short and curvy, but not busty. I finally like the way I look, and that’s pretty great.
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