I found this Nanette Lepore dress on ThredUP. I love it. ThredUP has a lot of good stuff that ends up being pretty cheap. It’s a little dangerous for me. but anyway.
this week has been so bizarre. I felt a low that I haven’t felt in some time. I don’t feel like doing much, just sitting around and feeling bad. today I forced myself to go outside and call a few people.
I‘ve also been thinking about fear, forgiveness and resentment. these things plague me a lot of the time. what does it mean to forgive someone? I have to write down my resentments against people in order to heal and let them go. I’ve had to let go of a lot that doesn’t serve lately. I even sold a dress through Instagram recently and immediately felt I should have kept it. I deleted some texts and immediately regretted it and wondered how I might get them back. but the truth is that I don’t need any of these things. I am precious, and the right people will come into my life and stay in it, and offer love and support. I have to let go of the ones who don’t, because they don’t serve me. I can be polite but keep my guard up also. I don’t have to look for validation and acceptance from them, because I will never find it. and that’s really hard. it brings up fears that I’m a horrible person, or unworthy of love. But the truth is that I don’t know what demons others are fighting, especially when they don’t share with me. so I take it one day at a time, to pray for the release of my resentment, to pray for others who are also sick and suffering, and to try not to live in fear. amen
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