It was hard for me to unwind last night. But when I saw the clock change from 2am to 1am i felt relieved. I could get some more sleep. Today I’m going to a brunch with an old family friend and an even older relative (97!). I think they are all still worried about Covid, so we will eat outside. I can’t wait until we don’t have to talk about Covid anymore. But that will probably never happen. Our lives are forever changed.
todays dress is from a French brand called comptoir des cottoniers. They make nice pieces. Once when my sister and I were in Paris together, we found something there for her. But buying it second hand is obviously cheaper. I have just enough dresses in my backlog to make it home on Tuesday night. The weather here in sarasota is getting colder. Today is sunny but only 64 degrees. And it’s windy. I didn‘t really pack for the cold. But I’ll be home soon. For 3 nights before I go on my ayahuasca journey. I really hope this helps me let go of the fear that holds me back from my purpose. I’m also ready ”the artist’s way” and plan to do daily morning pages (3 pages of free writing) and take myself on an artist date weekly. I asked my mother what gives her self worth but she didn’t answer. I’m still curious. What gives anybody self worth? I don’t know the answer yet. Is it work? Being a parent? Helping others? ill report back as I keep learning. I also read a BPD memoir by Courtney Cook called ”the way she feels.” I was very impressed. She explains everything so well. she’s been hospitalized and I haven’t, but other than that, I could really relate. I have to meditate more. And more and more.
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