Contradictions

Today’s dress is a cotton piece from American apparel. I had to search for it because the company isn’t around anymore. I love these basic pieces. They’re perfect for fall. I also love the color orange lately. Brace yourself for a lot of skirts coming to the blog! I realized I’d been neglecting my skirts in favor of dresses. There are still dresses left. There’s a lot left. Sigh. I went to a comedy show tonight. A woman I know was doing stand up and I realized I could scoot there. As the comedians were doing their thing, I kept thinking about how my life is like one long stand up routine. so many random things have happened. nothing quite fits together, but maybe that’s why it seems funny. I’m a native manhattanite. A rabbi‘s daughter. Travelled the world solo. Gotten fired from pretty much every job. Still on food stamps, which I use to buy lobster. Multiple stints on unemployment which I used to buy dresses and recently paid for a creative coach. I’ve tried many careers. I wrote for the New York Post when I was 18. I hung out at Rudy Giuliani’s apartment in college. I’m an Australian citizen. I was raised left wing but after dating 2 republicans during Covid, now I’m not sure what I am. I’ve had 5 serious relationships and they all ended it with me. I love sleeping and napping. I hate masks. I’m short and curvy. I have a hard time keeping anything to myself. When my ex asked me if I wanted anything from Amazon, I asked for a bidet and he got me one. I like it. I love hot weather and don’t like the cold. I get jealous when I see on social media that people are hanging out without me. I hate when people don’t text me back but it happens a lot. I hate crying. I don’t love cooking but I do it. I’m fairly frugal. I’ll try pretty much anything once. I‘m not ready to date again. My friends are the best people in the world. Most of my extended family feel like strangers to me. Even my close family actually. I’m a singer but I get nervous about singing most of the time. I’m very impulsive. I never feel normal. One of my closest friends is my last boyfriend’s sister in law. I’m very nostalgic. I dissociate a lot and can’t remember chunks of my past or what I did that upset people. I hate feeling embarrassed. I hate feeling trapped. I still enjoy driving, but not as much as before. I have ancestral trauma. Sometimes I think I’m attractive but other times I really don’t. I don’t like my side profile. My home is full of interesting art and second hand furniture. I love it. I have a hard time getting rid of things but it’s not a hoarder situation. I like things relatively tidy. I once had my portrait painted by a man who used his penis as a paintbrush. His name is Mr. Pricasso and he’s kind of famous. People think I’m much younger than I am which is cool but I don’t get it either. I’ve dyed my hair a lot but I don’t have much interest in doing it again. My eyes are wide-set and so are my niece‘s. I get compared to elisabeth moss. I love affection and cuddling.