I haven’t worn this dress for a while. I got it in perth, in Western Australia, when I was visiting my cousin. She and I lost touch, which is still kind of sad to me. I always thought she was funny and cool. I didn’t realize how mentally ill we both are. I feel like mental illness is becoming more acceptable. I try not to hide who I am.
last night I went to a free comedy show in central park. The show has been going on for most of the pandemic. I went last September with my ex (#1) who hated stand up. But i convinced him to give it a try. I had a weird dream about him recently. some of you may remember that I set him up with a friend of mine, less than 3 weeks after our breakup. I had already met ex #2 and was flying on a cloud, not based in reality at ALL. Ex #1 had decided it was appropriate to ask me for help with his dating profile and tell me he liked my friend. real quality person! But I agreed. I guess I wanted the validation and to be some sort of hero, since he clearly couldn’t find a woman on his own. So in my dream he told me that they weren't together anymore. but I actually don’t know what the truth is and I don’t really care. It won’t affect my life either way. i am a human, so I can’t just never think about it again, but ex #2 did in fact help me get over ex #1, so if that was the purpose of the short lived relationship, then it worked. but I actually think the purpose was to help me find myself. And you know what? This process really sucks. It feels like the opposite of comedy. It’s not for the weak. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever been though and I can see why so many people end up in mental hospitals. it‘s exhausting. Although I have found a way to tell the story of my 2 Covid relationships in a way that does make people laugh. It’ll either become a book, a Netflix series or a comedy routine. Because it’s just so…insane. All of it. The red flags that weren’t just ignored but almost embraced. I even told ex #2 that I had just gotten out of another relationship that I expected would end in marriage and he was like “oh cool, just text me whenever.” That is NOT a healthy response. That was a red flag that I was presenting. It works both ways, my friends. I hope you enjoy the pretty pictures of vintage and non vintage clothes! Because it’s the only non messy thing I can figure out at the moment.
Oh, and happy 39th anniversary to my parents. if anyone can spend that many years with me, I’ll be very impressed.
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