Today‘s outfit is…i’m not quite sure what it is. It’s not a dress! I paired it with koala slippers from Happy Feet. lately it seems like everyone has a coach. Or is becoming a coach. And coaches charge a lot. Mine charges more than my therapist. I went to a coach once before and I wanted to try it again. My coach is a creative one. she helps me with creative projects like writing and performing. She’s kind of like me: a short Jewish woman who likes an audience. She’s working on a TV pilot now. I’ve never paid this kind of money for this kind of help before. Sometimes I think it was crazy. But what else is money for? I wanted a push and this was the only way I knew how to stay accountable. I don’t want to waste $5,000. If I get a rough draft of a book it will be worth it. If I perform just once at an open mic it will be worth it. I’m tired of letting fear of failure hold me back from my dreams. yesterday I got stoned. I took a bit too much and realized I had no choice but to show up for therapy like that. I was nervous. Like the kind of feeling you get when you know you messed up and you don’t want to get blamed. i didn’t tell her right away. But then I couldn’t stop crying and that’s what happens to me a lot when I’m stoned. Ugh. today I went to see a matinee of phantom of the opera. It was cool. I’d never seen the show before, or the movie. I got confused as times. I might need to read more on it.