Child’s Dress?

Today’s dress came from the mill. It could have belonged to a child, but I don’t know for sure. it barely fits me and I had to get the condo concierge here to help me button it. But we did it. today I leave Florida and feeling kind of emotional. my 18 days here has meant a lot. It hasn’t been easy, or a vacation, but that’s ok. It wasn’t really meant to be. I just wanted to be by the ocean as I continued my healing. And I got to be. I hope I’ll get to come back sometime, although I’d prefer to have my own car. Renting a car is very pricey, especially for so many days. Now I know. I turned off notifications for this site because I don’t need a ping every time someone signs on. At first it was cool to see where and when people were on here, but it became distracting. I like the practice of writing the post the night before when I typically feel more alert. sometimes I really don’t know what to write about, since the origins of where I found each dress isn’t that interesting and doesn’t take up that much space. I’m getting into a routine now where I hand write 3 pages every morning of whatever is in my head. I don’t re-read it. I just write. I don’t share it either. Just when I think I have something figured out, it gets turned upside down and I have to start again, or at least from a different angle. I hope this will all prepare me better for what’s next. I am grateful to connect to so many interesting people on this road to recovery. Some of the most important people in my life are going through similar stuff and we support each other. It feels very slow, but whats the rush I guess. Who knows how much time we have. Yesterday I saw my cousin Suki who is 97.5 years old. when we posed for a picture together, she told me to say the word “fuck,“ and we both laughed. she was volunteering until a few years ago. I’d like to know her better. Hopefully we can have more chats. She was my grandmothers first cousin and older by a few years. I can’t believe my grandma has been gone 13 years already. She’d be 93 next month. I miss her. There’s so much more I wish we could have talked about. I wonder if she hears me. I also have her diary from when she was a teenager. She wrote about dating before she even met my grandpa. By my age she already had 4 kids and a 16 year old. hard to believe. I don’t know if I really want to have kids anymore. I’ll leave it up to God, but Im starting to accept whatever is meant to be. At least I’m an auntie. Sorry this post is all over the place, but that’s my ADHD brain! Have a great Tuesday.