BPD Awareness Month

It’s May, which means it’s Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness month. I have to be honest and say that I feel this disorder is running my life, and I really want a break from it. But I do believe in spreading awareness. Last year I spoke at the NEA-BPD conference, with my sister. It was a complicated process to share my story. It took a lot out of me and she and I got into some difficult places in the months following. I’m not really sure what to say other than I know I have my family’s support. But I want to be known for other things. I want to keep creating and writing. I want a relationship. Money. I want to travel again without suffering from debilitating anxiety. I want to feel comfortable in my body again. I want to help others. I want to stop attacking my skin whenever any emotion comes up. This may be a tall order, but I believe god is loving and patient and I will get these things if I keep working towards them. I’m so tired today. I just want to sleep all day. But I will force myself to go to yoga and an online class I’m doing. I’m relieved that I don’t have writing class at the moment. My therapist said I need to prioritize. I always want to do everything. But I can’t. I’m still feeling weak. Please keep me in your thoughts as I navigate the next part of my life. amen.