Today‘s bathing suit is from Modena swimwear in Costa Rica. It’s reversible. I saw it in the window of the store on my last night there, just over a month ago. I knew I wanted it. One side is floral and one side is blue. I don’t have the best bikini body yet, but I’m pretty tan so it’s something. I started meds again today. I had been resisting them, but I fell into a depression again, so I’m going to try it. This has been a hard winter for me. But there are moments of good that make me feel more like myself. I don’t know how consistent I’ll be with the blog moving forward. It takes a lot to write content every day. I miss riding my scooter. It’s just too cold at the moment. It made me think of when I learned to ride a bike. I was late, as I am with most things. My dad had tried to teach me, but it wasn’t going well. At some point, I just figured it out. I was 12. Since then, I’ve enjoyed bike riding all over the world. I’ve ridden bikes in Bali and in Poland. Sometimes I don’t understand the gears. I was the slowest in the group ride from Auschwitz to krakow and got lost. Someone had to come get me so I could finish the ride. But I did it. It seems to be how life has worked out for me. I’m slow and a little shaky, but I always make it. Valentine’s Day was a bit sad. It was nice being with my friend, but I do sometimes miss being in a relationship. I feel used to it now. No one to tell me what to do. to snore next to me. To be grumpy. But also no one to share certain things with. I’m scared to date again. What happens when I feel low? Who wants to be around that? It feels easier to be alone. To bike alone. To cry alone.